TG: re (c) Ishida Sui
A strange odor combined with numerous chemical reaction engulfed my body like a turmoil organism. Seizing my arms and legs with chains and ropes tightly. Lingering yet giving the sweetest condemn over my body so no more anger or fear would enclose my sanity. I felt suffocated by any time I tried to breath. The bubbles flop out like hundreds of butterflies. Flying until they reach the surface of this dark ocean. The jitters swang and kiss my not so working brain. I might have been drugged or something. My awakeness did not work so well. The one last second I did was forcing my heavy eyes to keep awakened and it was due to a wet yet moist pair of lips on my forehead. Or maybe just few drips of water from the rain. Since, my sensitive ears caught the sound of whistle leaves of rainy season.
And I just opened both of my shot diamonds without even thinking much. I saw the ceiling. The very calm one which has been lavished with dark blue paper straps. The walls were all same. The neat and not so much things inside the room I used to sleep was totally in pitch black. The rains was so heavy and looked like it would crash everything by its thunder crane. But the warmness that successfully shushed me into a long day slumber still linger me quietly.
There was this futon and few sheaths of blankets. I even had socks on my fidget feet. So, the question came after. Where was I? It was not my lousy room inside that twelve tatamis space of flat. Even there was no any single sloppy mew I heard. Shiro was not in here either. I started to get sudden wave of panic.
I pulled myself out from the fluffy futon and trying to locate my own jurisdiction from this entire strange place. I was still fully clothed with pairs of my black work outfit. Though the wrist and neck part were loosened and it seemed my red tie was gone somewhere. I did not take a mind over that since the somebody who might be the owner of this house or maybe flat gave me a warm pair of socks. I stayed for awhile and reading my surrounding. My half opened eyes caught a glimpse of mirror. My wobble steps ended few centimeters from that refract media. The only light I got was illuminated by tiny sun behind the buzzes sound of raining. Beyond the polka dot curtains of the locked window sill.
My bangs looked getting little bit longer now. I needed to cut it by my own scissor. The cheapest way to dress up your abnormal color of hair, I assume. It'd been the majority of doing stuffs all alone that I could do very well. But the struck bolt was seen from somewhere exactly below my messy loose bangs. The purple almost black eye bags painted just few nano inch under my eyelashes. Oh well, this was the manifestation of worst quality of sleep. Sheesh.
So I turned around. Collecting my half gone souls while tip-toeing till I got the paper wrapped door. I felt like a crime with no hope of mercy took any chance to find my way back home. A weirdo vigilante. But my curiosity finally lead me until I reach the sweet and delicious smell of food. Just needed some five or six steps, I stand still and freezing. Someone's petite and feminine hips moved synchronized while doing some kitchen stuffs. The freshness aroma of curry drools me over like hungry puppies. And the swirl motion of his white hair stopped my pitiful daydreaming.
He turned his head right away to watch me standing without making any movements. The tapped wobble step from my foot seemed making him startle a bit. My gaze oddly focused on his black short tight pants. Combined well with his oh so pale milk colored skin. Was he really a male cause I thought I'd just saw a figurine of goddess inside that rillakuma's pattern apron. That's cute. But, the term cute that I just used was not quiet suitable with his strong and rude mouth and the wrinkles between his eyebrows.
With a knife inside his grip. My insane stares flew away suddenly.
"A-ah! Hi--" Shit. My stupid tongue just slipped the stupid words. Again. "Err--" I scratch my cheek with my pointed finger. Could not even stay focus on one point. Feeling shameful.
"Your loose and lame tie was little bit wet from your so crazy sweat. So, I dry it and put it behind the bath chamber. Don't ever think I try to steal your belongings. Just... well... some peck on your forehead, guess."
I lift my eyebrows few inches. Full of question marks expression.
But, was it only me or I just saw him tried to hide his... flushing face?
Err...
The sound of chopped veggies loosened my tense state. I looked down to my feet where pairs of cute socks covered them with so much warmth. I smiled.
"Thanks for the socks too, by the way. And, well... it's really strange, you know. I mean, well--" Scratching this and that. And now the back of my neck. Feeling so confused.
The boy who I knew nothing stared me once again, but my sense just told me there was something different with his gaze right away. He made steps toward me, silently. And we're both just mere inches now. I gulped over and over times though our weight difference merely one or three inches only. It's still hard for me by only staring his half lidded and oh so tempting flush lips and cheeks. God, just help me and my dignity as a forever alone man.
One of his arms reach my face, the softness from his gentle touch caressed right at left side of my cheek. He played his thumb to find my cheek bone and graze it slowly. The sensation was too reluctant. Yet... It's too wrong. Definitely wrong.
"Who are you?"
"Why on earth do you keep coming to me?"
"Was my luring pheromone really exciting you? Arousing you?"
"Or... are you a kinky maniac? Toward young rebels like me?"
I did not blink. The coaxing temptation of his skinny fingers awaken my inner self realization.
"Do you... love me?"
Did I love him?
I... could not answer it.
I released his hand but it seemed he put little bit effort to keep staying like that. I was ab,e to see his smooth pale cleavage. My tremble voices came out.
"Well, I'm just a man who needs to say a proper thanks to a boy whose hair looked alike snowflakes. But, seems like it has turned into something quiet troublesome since... for many occasions and deliberate or unfortunate events which much more like the accidentally ones, I could not even stop thinking about... you." The last word sounded too weak. I felt my blushing face just burnt till the back of my torso. "And, I know the pathetic guy like me who knew nothing about so much tragedies over life and... and... or about you, instead of wondering of how Mr.time-san would possible let me going out from this circle. If you understand what I mean. Such a huge mess, right? Haha. I mean, me, in front of your eyes."
Should I shout all of my cries upon this boy who ten years old younger than me? Telling him who am I inside? The lame gay guy.
I dropped my head. Afraid of any reactions that might show off on his cold expression along this weird conversation.
But... the next thing was truly shocking me.
A soft thud and the co-existence of white silence lingered me, melt my dry lips to a moist one.
He... kissed me.
Did he just... attach his own pair of lips to... mine?
Was that... a kiss?
Not just a peck on forehead like he said few minutes ago?
Or... Was I still enclosed by grief of loneliness?
Was it only my imagination?
Did I still sleep?
It was only lasted for three seconds. Yet, the flush and puffy face he own did struck lightning gasp of mine. My legs almost weakened. Our breaths collided.
"It's... sweet. Your lips. And... there's no lie on there. I can sense it. A very pure one. Am I... your first kiss, Sir?"
He brushed his soft thumb across my dry lips. Kiss it once again. Forced me to open my mouth. Smirk in the middle of our passionate touch. The wet and super moist little tongue tried to enter my oral cavity. The tingling sensation from the white haired boy's pierced tiny metal ball right at the middle of his red tongue brought hundreds of voltage over my body. Cold yet full of heat. I was awfully turned on. But, it succeed bring me back to reality. Stopping his emotional reaction before it turned to be something terrible.
And...
...he cried.
Without any sound escaped from his mouth. No sobbing. Tears only.
I felt it right away through my own cheeks. Cold yet full of emotion.
As how he circled both of his long arms around my neck.
No more words after that.
We stayed still.
I let him resting his head to my sloppy shoulder.
Still hugging me.
"It's me who needs to say thank you. Thank you, Mr. Strange-one."
So, I might say this would be the reason of avid question from my trustworthy lady out there. About how come I even tried to date this high schooler boy.
No I love you statement underlings. Bind us like a true lovebirds.
We just some weird people who lurked for love. Loving and to be loved.
Nevertheless, was it just me who actually wanted to run away? Running away for my one sided pathetic love toward... Arima.
Yet, the last thing I could offer to this broken boy only a pure of ironic smile. Pitiful one.
He talked minutes after he swept the rest of tears on each sides of his puffy red face. I tried to stay in focus but my thumping heart beating so crazily.
"I did not know that you're really into guys."
"Err, hahaha. Ye-yeah. Something like that. Ho-how do you know it? I mean... I haven't given you any hints through keywords or any about it. Still."
I saw his smirks grew wider. He tip-toed to watch my face much closer. The tip of our noses touch eventually. Ten fingers folded both of my super puffy cheeks and squeeze it like orange bulbs.
"I never know you had so pretty pair of orbs. It... It looks so much alike me! Does oh my fucking God really send you for me? Cause... honestly, you're a very strange guy. Ever since I knew how pleasurable will be to lay down with old guy like you, none of them just came to me for a thank. They came for one night stand and punching me and kicking me like I was a mere stray cats when I failed to do their horrible requests. Really."
He had not answered my question yet. But, I let him kept squeezing my face so I was able to see more of his carefree smiles.
For minutes we left, this would be the most important part.
My pity side afford me to do more. Embracing this lonely boy.
Hugging him back.
"Do you... feel so alone?" I asked him while caressing his bony back.
He nodded.
Where had that harsh mouth and attitude gone? Still, he was a weak child.
"So, may I assume that the purple haired folks who... who..."
What exactly did they do, anyway?
I kept asking that near-plausible view in my mind, even dreams.
Between smirks or smiles, I did not even know anymore.
"Oh, still figuring out the bastard which you aiming for, huh? Well--" He let go my arms. Walking back to his kitchen utensils and fired off the stove. "--his name is Tsukiyama Shuu. The org called him as The Gourmet. He was only around your age, I assume. Since, once time I gave him sleeping pills after our rough sex, I stole everything he owned and leaving him naked and nude. With no moneys nor identities card. Fair enough for a stupid jerk like him. Actually, I never liked him. It's just... I had a very bad habit everytime I dated a man who carelessly showing off his richness. What he did to me that night was merely my mistakes. He found me and pushing me to come back with him as his whore. Promising sums of money if I do what he wants. What a bunch of scumbags."
Same. The improper language. I guess it was not about the language-stuff I admired now but kinds of past that the boy had. The stories of tragedies. I wanted to know him... More.
"You know, we even did not know each other. Both of us. We just met few weeks ago at a bus stop about few blocks from here. And strangely, after that not so much troubling meeting, we met again. Again and again. Ended with me taking your dead body alone. But, I feel like this may be a miracle that only happen once in a lifespan of mine. Somebody once told me before. Not all of strangers would greet you as enemies, some of them choose to get close to you as... your salvation. I know it sounds ridiculous. But, may I keep this hope? Toward you?"
He leaned his back on the kitchen table. I saw him clutching his knuckles so hard.
"I am sorry of what I did to you yesterday morning. Seeing your clumsy yet free gestures scared me a lot. I can't grow this fragile hope too high. You're a man with so much happy life. Far from sinful things.
The grief started to dominate his story.
"After listening my so dirty self, I knew you will take steps back. So, if you feel you want to puke or what, then stand back. Leave me just like what I've said to you. It endangers your life. But... if you insist to stay with me, then please, do not push me away like those bad people did to me."
My tremble legs changed dramatically. My self urges to hug him for the second times just elapsed. It was not the right time. He might be one hundred percent far from sanity. Dirty and filthy. The usual terms he used.
But I've made my choice. Within five minutes only. And the swirling bubbles which surround me with loud voices crushed my logic. I catch one big whisper to my head, do not leave him, save him, be his friend. The wobble steps I took was not mistaken as witches curse. It might be from God's angels.
I needed to pull this boy back to his purity life. Trying to understand his sadness.
Looked like it was a cruel meeting and a cruel fate. But, who knew this story would end happily? No one.
We're both strangers. And we both needed love to comprehend with. Filling the loss gap. Together.
"Let's be friends then. Or... would you prefer to call it as bizarre relationship?"
I gave him my friendly salute. Smiling genuinely.
"Then, do not let go of this hands, Mr. Strange Guy."
I did hope so, Mr. Boy in Snow White haired.
The world was wrong. But, I was the indefinite failure inside this tiny planet. So he was. And I prayed, the combination of these two errors would finally end as...
...catastrophe, perhaps?
Silly.
[to be continued]
Hm, hm. Amusing chapter. Yet, confusing one. Sigh.
And...
...he cried.
Without any sound escaped from his mouth. No sobbing. Tears only.
I felt it right away through my own cheeks. Cold yet full of emotion.
As how he circled both of his long arms around my neck.
No more words after that.
We stayed still.
I let him resting his head to my sloppy shoulder.
Still hugging me.
"It's me who needs to say thank you. Thank you, Mr. Strange-one."
So, I might say this would be the reason of avid question from my trustworthy lady out there. About how come I even tried to date this high schooler boy.
No I love you statement underlings. Bind us like a true lovebirds.
We just some weird people who lurked for love. Loving and to be loved.
Nevertheless, was it just me who actually wanted to run away? Running away for my one sided pathetic love toward... Arima.
Yet, the last thing I could offer to this broken boy only a pure of ironic smile. Pitiful one.
He talked minutes after he swept the rest of tears on each sides of his puffy red face. I tried to stay in focus but my thumping heart beating so crazily.
"I did not know that you're really into guys."
"Err, hahaha. Ye-yeah. Something like that. Ho-how do you know it? I mean... I haven't given you any hints through keywords or any about it. Still."
I saw his smirks grew wider. He tip-toed to watch my face much closer. The tip of our noses touch eventually. Ten fingers folded both of my super puffy cheeks and squeeze it like orange bulbs.
"I never know you had so pretty pair of orbs. It... It looks so much alike me! Does oh my fucking God really send you for me? Cause... honestly, you're a very strange guy. Ever since I knew how pleasurable will be to lay down with old guy like you, none of them just came to me for a thank. They came for one night stand and punching me and kicking me like I was a mere stray cats when I failed to do their horrible requests. Really."
He had not answered my question yet. But, I let him kept squeezing my face so I was able to see more of his carefree smiles.
For minutes we left, this would be the most important part.
My pity side afford me to do more. Embracing this lonely boy.
Hugging him back.
"Do you... feel so alone?" I asked him while caressing his bony back.
He nodded.
Where had that harsh mouth and attitude gone? Still, he was a weak child.
"So, may I assume that the purple haired folks who... who..."
What exactly did they do, anyway?
I kept asking that near-plausible view in my mind, even dreams.
Between smirks or smiles, I did not even know anymore.
"Oh, still figuring out the bastard which you aiming for, huh? Well--" He let go my arms. Walking back to his kitchen utensils and fired off the stove. "--his name is Tsukiyama Shuu. The org called him as The Gourmet. He was only around your age, I assume. Since, once time I gave him sleeping pills after our rough sex, I stole everything he owned and leaving him naked and nude. With no moneys nor identities card. Fair enough for a stupid jerk like him. Actually, I never liked him. It's just... I had a very bad habit everytime I dated a man who carelessly showing off his richness. What he did to me that night was merely my mistakes. He found me and pushing me to come back with him as his whore. Promising sums of money if I do what he wants. What a bunch of scumbags."
Same. The improper language. I guess it was not about the language-stuff I admired now but kinds of past that the boy had. The stories of tragedies. I wanted to know him... More.
"You know, we even did not know each other. Both of us. We just met few weeks ago at a bus stop about few blocks from here. And strangely, after that not so much troubling meeting, we met again. Again and again. Ended with me taking your dead body alone. But, I feel like this may be a miracle that only happen once in a lifespan of mine. Somebody once told me before. Not all of strangers would greet you as enemies, some of them choose to get close to you as... your salvation. I know it sounds ridiculous. But, may I keep this hope? Toward you?"
He leaned his back on the kitchen table. I saw him clutching his knuckles so hard.
"I am sorry of what I did to you yesterday morning. Seeing your clumsy yet free gestures scared me a lot. I can't grow this fragile hope too high. You're a man with so much happy life. Far from sinful things.
The grief started to dominate his story.
"After listening my so dirty self, I knew you will take steps back. So, if you feel you want to puke or what, then stand back. Leave me just like what I've said to you. It endangers your life. But... if you insist to stay with me, then please, do not push me away like those bad people did to me."
My tremble legs changed dramatically. My self urges to hug him for the second times just elapsed. It was not the right time. He might be one hundred percent far from sanity. Dirty and filthy. The usual terms he used.
But I've made my choice. Within five minutes only. And the swirling bubbles which surround me with loud voices crushed my logic. I catch one big whisper to my head, do not leave him, save him, be his friend. The wobble steps I took was not mistaken as witches curse. It might be from God's angels.
I needed to pull this boy back to his purity life. Trying to understand his sadness.
Looked like it was a cruel meeting and a cruel fate. But, who knew this story would end happily? No one.
We're both strangers. And we both needed love to comprehend with. Filling the loss gap. Together.
"Let's be friends then. Or... would you prefer to call it as bizarre relationship?"
I gave him my friendly salute. Smiling genuinely.
"Then, do not let go of this hands, Mr. Strange Guy."
I did hope so, Mr. Boy in Snow White haired.
The world was wrong. But, I was the indefinite failure inside this tiny planet. So he was. And I prayed, the combination of these two errors would finally end as...
...catastrophe, perhaps?
Silly.
[to be continued]
Hm, hm. Amusing chapter. Yet, confusing one. Sigh.
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